Diverging off track

It's been exactly a month since my last post, I haven't forgotten to write it's just that I didn't know what to say. To be honest, I've been exhausted and the energy it takes to compose a blog always lost out to the opportunity to sleep. It's amazing how fast you can find yourself diverging off track (no pun intended) and unable to find your way back. A month ago I was relatively in control of my typical running- yaletown life and now I find myself sidelined on island time.

I left off at the pacific series where I produced 3 sub-optimal performances. It began with a 2:08 in Abbotsford, followed by a 2:06 at the Jerome and a 2:07 in Victoria. It felt demolishing, the failure and the frustration I experienced after this week was and is devastating. If you ask me what's up all I can say is I can't find it in me to dig deep, I can't make myself hurt. Usually this is a no brainer, you don't have to think about running until you puke it's a competitive drive that defines me.

With much debate and significant relief I have decided to call it a season. I'm in the process of getting a significant amount of blood work done and I've receiving imaging of my heel tomorrow. Throughout this whole year I felt like I was being tested, I tried to smash down roadblocks and run right through them. On reflection, I should have listened a little closer to my body. I think running with a sore foot day after day slowly beat me down. This along with my recurrent throat infections tampered with my immune system, stripping my of my energy and not leaving enough on the side for my running.

I know this situation is a good thing, I feel like I've picked up the scent and I'm slowly finding my way back. I'm looking at this as an opportunity to relax and have fun. I'm always of the work hard, play hard principle and although it doesn't look like it on paper god knows I was working hard. I'm choosing to have fun, to appreciate this much needed free time and when I return to running it's going to be on my terms.
xoxo
R